The Albanian king in the 1920′s and 30′s holds the record for most attempts at his life 50 assassinations. In one of his most famous, his assassin shot him twice from close range before some sort of fancy assembly. Zog calmly took a seat with blood spewing out of his clothes and calmly told everyone that this sort of thing happens all the time. Amazingly Zog died of natural causes in 1961.

This guy was seen as some sort of mystic by the Russian royal family and was kept around until he was diminishing the family’s popularity with his weird magic and possible romantic relationship with the Tsar’s wife. A group of Russian nobles attempted to poison his wine and cake, but it didn’t seem to work. He continued eating enough cake for seven birthdays before one of the nobles shot him in the back. They thought his was dead, but as they were leaving he sprung up and started strangling one of them. He was shot 3 more times, his body was wrapped in a rug and thrown into a river. Strangely even after all that, the autopsy reported that the cause of his death was hyperthermia.

The famous explorer was ordered to kill an enemy of the Philippines. Unfortunately when Magellan’s crew made it to shore, the enemy was waiting. Magellan was immediately shot with a poison arrow and stabbed with a bamboo spear, but continued fighting. When he could no longer lift his spear his enemies surrounded him, beating him. But Magellan did not die until he could see that his crew was escaping back to the ships. He then breathed his last breath.

The infamous pirate eventually retired with all his riches to North Carolina, but a hit was put on him by the governor of Virginia and two ships commanded by Robert Maynard went after him. Instead of waiting around for death, Blackbeard boarded Maynard’s ship, garnishing the decks with pre-industrial, grenades and nearly slicing off Maynard’s hand. Blackbeard was stabbed twenty times in addition to being shot twenty times, but fell down while trying to reload his pistol and died.

This infamous cartel leader, who at one moved 80% of the world’s cocaine, was hunted by a special task force. The force, consisting of the members of Seal Team 6, participated in a rooftop chase of Escobar that went so long, that after thousands of bullets fired at Escobar, it eventually led to Escobar growing weary of running. At the end of the chase, he shot himself in the head. The task force claims it was one of their bullets that eventually killed Escobar, but, whoa.

Nearly rivaling King Zog’s number, the leader of the French resistance movement had 31 assassination attempts during his lifetime and each time he responded with an almost Mr. Magoo-level of unawareness. At one point a group of assassins painted his car with 140 bullets, but he only reluctantly agreed to his aide’s request to duck under the incoming fire.